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13 Ways You Know You've Been in the Teaching Game For a While

 

author image_Amy SlagleThis article was written by Amy Slagle — a middle school teacher juggling career, husband (ooh la la), and twin tomboys (good grief). She has a passion for writing and craves laughter just about as much as frozen yogurt. This is her attempt at sharing the madness of her world, her mind, and her humor.
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Experienced teachers have instinctive capabilities unlike most other human beings. There are certain things that set them apart from those new to the classroom, and those who've never stood in a teacher's shoes. 

1. If a second grader says, "I don't feel good..." you're holding a trash can under their chin before they finish that sentence.

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2. If a 7th grader says, "Want to hear a joke?...Are you sure?...hee, hee, hee," you know not to say yes--it most definitely will be innappropriate.

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3. If you say something funny and your middle school students laugh, you don't wonder if they are laughing with you or at you--you know it's the latter.

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4. You know that the sentence: "This is due tomorrow," to a teenager, means the same thing as: "Don't forget to take the trash out" or "Put your dishes in the dishwasher"...it doesn't matter how many times you say it.

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5. You learned that voice volume is not a concept children understand. Kids WILL yell when speaking to the person sitting an inch away. 

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6. You've come to the conclusion that these days, to get students' attention, you'd have better luck "Snapchatting" your lessons.

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7. You know that if you want students to work, letting them listen to their music helps.

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8. You've realized that eating lunch is something you can look forward to, after you retire.

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9. You've learned that a middle schooler's social life is EVERYTHING, and can be used against them to thwart their evil ways.

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10. You've discovered that planning time during school hours is like a unicorn -- existing in a mystical world of rainbows full of Skittles. Good luck actually finding any.

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11. You hate hoodies. They are the end-all, be-all way to PISS OFF a teacher.

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12. You've realized that second graders don't capitalize "I" or end their sentences with punctuation. And apparently, neither do 4th graders, 6th graders, or 8th graders! 

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13. You know that even if you spend eight hours of your glorious weekend finessing lesson plans to be a perfect combination of fun and interesting, it doesn't matter. Students don't give a crap.

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