This article was written by Jenay Sherman — a high school Leadership (Public Speaking) teacher, and cheer coach in North Texas, as well as an associate professor of Business and Professional Communication. She is a featured author on Scary Mommy, and blogs at 4 Amusing Muses.
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Calling all older, uncool adults--it's time to take action! Join us in our mission to change the discourse of our nation, and enrich the educational experience. It is time to take back our power, and eliminate contemporary slang.
By using these slang words that fuel the student lexicon, we will in fact hasten their eventual demise. Every time an old, uncool adult (by student standards, this age would apply to anyone over 25) uses a slang word in their natural habitat, the enthusiasm behind its use fades. And recent success suggests that this process can be accelerated with dedicated focus. Our inspiring campaign on the dab serves as proof that old folks can achieve even what appear to be insurmountable goals.
You need't feel guilty for the elimination of these common slang words. Take a moment to recall the slang of our youth, and its ultimate end. Remember our cherished colloquialisms? Like:
"crunk", "fly", "legit", "as if", "salty", "phat", "bomb-diggity", "dope", and the classic, "talk to the hand!"
These words were taken from us by lame adults as a challenge to grow up and find more appropriate ways of communicating. The cycle of life has come full circle and it is our job to keep it spinning.
And this work is legit important. Everytime a slang word loses its command over the student language, a high school teacher is subject to far less-cringy conversations in the workplace. The quality of written assignment improves by at least 8%! This is especially impactful for communication and English teachers. To imagine this world brings tears to my eyes. And you don't even have to pay $19 a month to support a local high school teacher. Just by using the words in casual conversation and over social media can truly make a difference.
Below is a list of words you should consider using right away. You will notice there are no instructions on usage--our evidence shows that both correct and incorrect usage will result in the desired effect.
Words and Phrases to Begin Using Today:
It's gonna be lit, fam
Thank you for your continued support, and remember the motto...
"Eliminate a slang word, save a high school teacher!"