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25 of the Most Awkward Gifts Teachers Have Ever Received

 

Jane Morris_author photoThis article was written by Jane Morris — author of the bestselling book: Teacher Misery. Connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr.
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*This article was written by a guest author. It has not been vetted or endorsed by Bored Teachers' editorial staff.*

There are three general times that a teacher receives gifts from students: Christmas, Valentine’s Day and the end of the school year. The Christmas gifts are almost always a mix of Rocher chocolates, Santa Claus/Snowman mugs, and lotion/hand sanitizer/candles. One gets a strong sense that many of these items are gifts that the parents didn’t want. (I know I pass on my chocolates and lotion sets to my kid’s teachers!) Occasionally there is a Starbucks or Target gift card, which is like pure gold.  And every once in a while there is a very strange item given to us that we are unsure how to react to.

I asked a group of over 100,000 teachers to name the strangest gifts they've ever received from a student and here is a list of the weirdest, most creative responses I received:

1. A Dollar Store mug and candy combo with “World’s Greatest Lover” on it

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This gift almost makes it into the pile of standard teacher gifts but then WOAH! Did the kid/parent not see the front of the mug? Please god, let that be the case.

2. Toilet brush set

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Well this is definitely practical. If you have a toilet, you should have the proper utensils to clean it. 

3. A nose hair trimmer

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A very considerate gift for the teacher who has it all, including overgrown nose hair.

4. A gift card for a bikini wax

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Thanks kid. Now we’re both thinking about my pubes.

5. A pair of fur-covered handcuffs for the teacher to use with her “Beyoncé” (fiancé)

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A dash of cute with a whole lot of uncomfortable! 

6. Used hair gel

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First of all, is this a joke? It’s not? Okay, well, thank you for saving this bit for me!

7. A rose that was actually a red lace thong (Students mistakenly buy this gift for teachers a lot.)

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Apparently they sell these at 7-11 and students confuse it for a single red rose… which is also awkward. This item needs to have a huge label that reads “You know this is UNDERWEAR, RIGHT?” to prevent this terrible circumstance from happening again. 

8. A perfume called “Sexy Thang”

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I’m not sure who the target audience for this is, but it sure as hell ain’t teachers!

9. 3 razors, a chapstick, a toothbrush, and a pencil wrapped in a rubber band

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This kid doesn’t have time to play games. He is all practicality and utility.

10. Kama Sutra cologne, complete with topless lady on the label

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This immediately gets returned to sender. Thank you but I can’t accept gifts from students that include images of boobies.

11. Perfume and sexy underwear so the teacher can, in the student’s words, “Make your own baby!”

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Why would I ever need to make my own baby when I have 30 of you weirdos?

12. A book about how to give massages to cats

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If you’ve ever wondered if there are specific techniques for petting cats, this is the item for you!

13. Chocolates that a student admitted her dad stole from the Dollar Tree

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Your dad risked a lot for these sweet delights. Let’s share them together.

14. A copy of American Psycho wrapped in newspaper

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Good book, but not particularly gift-worthy. The addition of the newspaper certainly adds an element of creepy. I hope there aren’t any mysteriously highlighted passages!

15. A gift bag with grapefruit and appetite suppressants

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This gift included a note that read, “My mom said these helped her lose weight!” Need I say more?

16. A box of pantyliners

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In the student’s defense, they do sell these in a gift box with a bow that reads GIFT in huge fancy letters. Perhaps they just didn’t read the fine print which reads, “You deserve it! A breakthrough in feminine hygiene!”

17. Cellulite cream

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That crap is expensive so thanks, I guess.

18. An empty condom wrapper with wildflowers in it

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“Please kid, tell me you don’t know what this is,” I think to myself as I reach for this gift with a wad of 15 tissues doused in hand sanitizer.

19. A hand drawn portrait of the teacher completely nude (it included EVERYTHING)

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If the kid is under four years old I suppose it is innocent enough to be cute. Over five and I’m calling the cops.

20. Gift card to Victoria’s Secret which said “Sexy Little You” on it

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I can’t afford nice underwear so I’m willing to overlook this unbelievably uncomfortable message.

21. Used candles

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You tried them out for me fifteen times? How were they?

22. A bra that clearly had been worn before

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If it’s old enough, maybe it could be considered vintage?

23. A lighter which revealed a picture of a naked lady when it was turned upside down

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I’ll regift this to my pubescent nephew. Should make a splash.

24. A t-shirt with the teacher’s face on it

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Walking around wearing a shirt with your own face on it is not odd at all! I think I’ll wear it to my next speed dating event!

25. Massage oils called “Love Potion” with a post-it note that read “use with your husband”

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For those irritable teachers whose marriages have probably lost that spark.

What’s the weirdest gift you’ve ever gotten from a student? Let us know in the comments below!

SHARE THE LAUGHTER!

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  • Karen on

    A teacher in my building received some beautiful flowers. A big wreath with " Rest in Peace" written on a ribbon.

  • Lauren on

    One time a student brought me 45 used nail polishes he stole from his moms collection and told me she doesn’t need them as much as I do 😂

  • Terri on

    I once received the 4 extra bulbs from a package of Christmas lights (the ones you use to make the strand of lights blink). This little love was SO proud when he gave them to me! I kept them in my paperclip container for a really long time bc they made me smile!

  • Carolyn on

    Not me, but a colleague, received a shriveled up, little orange for Christmas that the student said “I stoled just for you”. Another student confirmed that he had indeed “stoled” it from the his mother’s kitchen.

  • Christina Bowman on

    I have also received the red lace thong rolled up to look like a single rose. We still laugh about that time I received a panty rose for Christmas!

  • Veteran Teacher on

    I once received a broken clock.

  • Ann Bonar on

    I once received a little pillow stuffed with the student’s own hair. I was the star of the school that day; every teacher came by to see it.



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